It is true that I recognize the dynamic tension between a sober judgment of myself and the notion that God will not rebuke me for being imperfect. But the upward draw of being mature and complete is difficult to reconcile with the marred image that I bear. I do not feel that I represent God well at all, and it is this conflict that drives me. I would not say that it depresses me, but it does sober me a great deal.
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