And then, suddenly....

Things happen suddenly; usually it is bad things, but some things that happen suddenly are good. Actually, the worse of the bad things happen imperceptibly slowly. Anyway... Some sudden things happened to me today, two good, one bad.

First, I got a raise! After taxes, we're suddenly getting an extra $25 a week, but that's always nice.

Second, I was planning a new VOIP system at church for the eventual demise of our current phone and voice mail systems. Suddenly, today it died completely, but our phone tech had a mortgage company go belly-up and is re-selling us that system for 1/3 of what I was budgeting for. I hope we get new phones, too... I'll find out more tomorrow. So, that's maybe a good suddenly.

And finally, the owner of a company that I hear from often died last night of a hear attack; he was only 58. I can remember how his voice sounds over the phone. He was a nice man, and suddenly I'll never help him fix a computer problem again. OK, this didn't happen to me, but it was still so... sudden.

God provides some things through us

I can't complain about my lot in life. We have much and plenty.

On Saturday, as we left a grocery store, a man and an old woman approached our car, begging for money. He said he was trying to feed his family and his mom. We didn't have much cash to give them, so he only got $3.00 from us. As he guided his mom to another car, I started to pull away but decided to stop. We went back to the man and his mom; we offered to buy him a meal or some groceries and he took us up on it.

His name is Robert. I went into the grocery store with Robert while Cathy stayed outside and chatted with his mom. His family moved here from Philadelphia. He does auto body work and thought he could find a job here easily, like back home. Unfortunately, he can't find work and lives day-to-day. We got a modest basket of food because he does not have refrigeration; I paid and we joined Robert's mom and Cathy.

Cathy had been chatting with Robert's mom and prayed with her. Robert's mom is a Christian, and was very glad for the company and prayer. She's blind (we don't know why) and Robert is the son trying to take care of the family. She thinks her other son, who comes by and follows them around harassing them, may be demonicly influenced. They have it pretty rough.

We left Robert and his mom at the grocery store, heading home with their daily bread.

While it was good to do something for Robert and his mom, it hurt that we have such limitations. But just as we trust God for our daily needs, I have to trust that God will watch over His other children, too. It is not for me to try to do it all, but we'll try to do all that He asks of us, when He asks it.

So, if you would, ask God to watch over Robert and his mom. Thanks.

That's about how I feel...

True, that...

I hate having to keep money in a bank

A little bit of whining: I hate how, if you deposit a check one one day, the bank considers the funds "pending" for a day or more. But if you spend a penny (literally!) over you balance, they'll instantly charge you a $23 overdraft fee. That's right, overdrafts and fees are never pending, but they'll hold your direct deposit hostage.

Anybody got a good suggestion for a California bank?

Alone in His Timing

I just realized how much I am depending on my seminary connections for peer support and prayer support. As the chapters of my seminary story come to a close, I find myself too accustomed to the plot and storyline. It is high time for a transitional event; in narratives, a problem is introduced and the story revolves around the solution and end with the resolution. I am looking forward to the new circumstance to which God is calling us.

God's timing, I think, is usually close. Just before he called Abram into the land of Canaan, the Early Bronze Canaanite culture in the highlands was all but destroyed by a series of destructive invasions. The Intermediate Early Bronze-Middle Bronze (2100 BC - 1900 BC) was the stage in which Abram and his decedents wandered the land. Interestingly, Abram entered Canaan in 2091 BC (shortly after the destruction), Joseph went to Egypt in 1898 BC and Israel's family moved to Egypt in 1876 BC (just after the end of the period). Prior to this period, the Canaanite highlands were populated and not suitable for a Bedouin.

There was a bare 10 years between the destruction and Abram's arrival; that's pretty close.

Nevertheless, God prepared the way before Abram and then called him into the land. I do no know if Abram knew all that was happening in the Canaanite highlands; he did intercede for the cities of the plains. I am confident that God has prepared the way before; now I only need to follow.

That also means that God will provide my peer support. I have long wondered, sometimes aloud, "If people go to a pastor for support, who does a pastor go to?" After all, if you are always ministering the Word of God, must you always hear God's Word preached only in your own voice? For my part, I am seeking peer support by pursuing affiliation with a denomination, but I look forward to God's more excellent way.

Walking by Faith

I graduate in December, and I have long wondered what I would do next. The plan (my plan, anyway) was to just keep doing what I am doing until God shows me otherwise. I was just waiting for God to show me the way.

In addition to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, it seems that God guides us through his Word. I have been reading much in Genesis, and I just finished the account of Abraham. I have been praying that God would undo me and remake me, and that He would increase my faith.

Abraham is noted for his faith. It should also be noted that Abram was taught to believe in God through numerous circumstances and many years. God grandually revealed to Abram the full divine plan, and He preserved Abram through circumstances and mistakes. For every lesson we have recorded, great periods of time passed. It was over a decade between the rescue of Lot and the conception of Ishmael, and another 14 years before Isaac was conceived. God took almost 25 years to teach Abram to believe in God, and renamed him Abraham. Before Abram, there was Abraham; Abraham believed God's promise, and God considered him righteous.

God is calling me to take a step of faith. True to form, I only know where to go next, but not quite how I am getting there, or how I am going to accomplish anything when I get there. I only know to go as soon as possible, but I do not see how it will be possible. I am yet an Abram, but I look forward to being an Abraham.

I want to point out that Cathy knew long before I did, and waited for God to tell me the same thing. She is a godly woman.

As for the next step, I don't have much to say. I believe I will be a bi-vocational pastor for the foreseeable future. I do know I enjoyed being in Georgia and want to move there. I am still hoping that my company will transfer me to Georgia.

Day 7 Without My Wife

It has been 7 full days without my wife at home. Cathy left last Thursday morning (arrived last Saturday evening) and we have been fending for ourselves, the furkids and I. *sigh*... I miss my wife.

The kitties miss Cathy a great deal. Boaz, in fact, even seems depressed; he's quite subdued and doesn't play anymore. Boaz even threw up a couple of times, so Cathy's mom took him to the vet for me (nothing they could find). *sigh*

I'm finding it difficult to stay motivated. You would think that, with the alone time, I would get much done, but I feel less productive than when Cathy is with me. Perhaps it is because I have to take care of the house and furkids, and perhaps it is the busyness, but I think I am simply "blue."

I have been keeping the kitchen neat, but my desk is starting to look messy. I need to get ahead on my homework for the three class periods I will be missing; I may also prepare a few Bible studies, in case I have opportunity to teach while in Georgia.

Food and clean clothing will be running out soon, so I'll actually have to fend, truly, for myself. It is such a wonderful thing Cathy does for me, the way she takes care of me so I can concern myself only with work, study, and ministry. *sigh*... I miss her.

I'm the highest letter in my Hebrew class

Remember how, in school, a teacher takes roll and calls off all the names, by surname, alphabetically? If you have a name like Brent West you were probably always called last, but if your name is like Edwin Chandler you were called almost right away. Growing up, I always got called somewhere in the middle.

Something weird happened to me... I got called first. That's right, Jones was the first surname, alphabetically, in my Hebrew class.

There's a lot of Koreans and some Europeans in my class, with a lot of Mr. Kim's... oddly, making me first. Never thought it would happen to me!

Remembering 9/11/2001

Today is the six-year anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attack on the World Trade Center in New York. I was driving back to the office about noon when I heard it on the radio.

Where were you?

Harry Potter, Loud Music, and Vocabulary

Harry Potter: I'm not very current on what's popular from day-to-day. I have yet to see "The Passion of the Christ" and I have yet to read a single "Harry Potter" book (although I watched two movies, I think). Nonetheless, I found this article in the Washington Post both interesting and sad (sorry about the print-preview version, the main article requires subscription). The line that hit me was the author's daughter asking, "Do we have to keep reading this?" Frankly, it doesn't sound like a children's story to me (comparisons to Narnia and Middle Earth seem to me, at best, a reach), and even the movies don't interest me. The recent Newsweek review of the latest film doesn't make me reach for my mail-order DVD queue, either.

Ripping Music: I've ripped almost all of our CDs and burned them as data discs for my wife; she has just about every album we own in her car, right now, neatly in a 10-CD case. As I was listening to some of the music, attempting to hit them into logical collections on a single CD, it struck me that some music just didn't sound good. Not that the musicians were bad, but the music just didn't "strike a chord," as it were. Then I came across this video, which argues that today's record companies use too much compression; makes sense to me. This is probably why I prefer live performances.

Nonetheless: I first used the word "nonetheless" when I was required to do a paper in 4th grade (I think; his initials were W.W.W.) of a certain length, so I looked up big words in the thesaurus. My teacher chided me for using words in my paper that I wouldn't use in everyday conversation; little did he know that paper sparked an interest in expanding my vocabulary. I find it ironic, then, that I don't like Harry Potter, and struggle to use shorter words when composing sermons.

Eternal Life Starts Now

Now this is eternal life – that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you sent. John 17:3

This is eternal life. ...It is not just unending life in the sense of prolonged duration. Rather it is a quality of life, with its quality derived from a relationship with God. Having eternal life is here defined as being in relationship with the Father, the one true God, and Jesus Christ whom the Father sent. The use of "Christ" (Χριστός, Cristos) is not characteristically attached to Jesus’ name in John’s Gospel... here in 17:3 enables us to correlate the statement made in 1:18 of the prologue, that Jesus has fully revealed what God is like, with Jesus’ statement in 10:10 that he has come that people might have life, and have it abundantly. These two purposes are really one, according to 17:3, because (abundant) eternal life is defined as knowing (being in relationship with) the Father and the Son. The only way to gain this eternal life, that is, to obtain this knowledge of the Father, is through the Son (cf. 14:6). ...For John this knowledge is not intellectual, but relational. It involves being in relationship. (From the NET Bible)

Fat Ninja!

There I am, the fat ninja (the ninja who is fat, not the ninja of fat; anyway...). That's Malachi's tail as she runs away from the strange man.

Remember how I mentioned swords in a previous post? Well, I had one of their ninja swords shipped to my office.

It was actually quite entertaining; I unpacked the box without reading the label first, and found myself holding a sword. My coworker, Mike, looked at me a little nervously and asked if it was a butter knife (dulled edge) or not. For the record, it is dull. I did get some inquisitive looks, but nobody else asked me about it. (Funny...)

I had previously lent my telescoping nunchucks to the son of one of our church elders. He's into swords and other martial arts weapons. Oddly enough, they are heading to Ecuador for a missions trip to visit the Wadani tribe (yes, the same tribe from the movie, "The End of the Spear").

Odd... my last post about weapons also involved movies...

Team Work, Tithes, and Responsibility

Did you ever have a teacher who made you work in teams, and everybody gets the same grade? This is the "one-for-all" approach that is supposed to foster team work and be effective in the workplace. By extension, this should be true in churches, as well.

I have a philosophy about working in a church (and sometimes for the church). Ideally, each person understands that our work is more than a job function; it is a work unto the Lord. As such, working on a team in a church should be easier, since we're trying to please one and the same Lord, instead of advancing ourselves or our own agendas.

Therein lies the struggle for me; on the one hand, I have been contracted to organize and set policy for technology at my church, so I have an obligation to do it to the best of my ability, both as a Christian and as a job requirement. On the other hand, there are objectives and goals to be reached, and each person or ministry has their priorities. Some of these are complimentary, some are are contradictory.

Budgeting, however, has been an issue for me. Some people are understanding, others push for what they want me to buy for them, regardless of need. It bothers me when other staff purchase computer accessories or software without shopping around. This is because every dollar we don't save, when we could have saved it, is spent wastefully, no longer available for other purposes. I feel like I am spending God's people's money.

With every laptop or monitor I buy, I spend someone's gift to God, or tithe. It is a large responsibility, being responsible with God's money.

I wish I would feel that way about my time, my talents, and my thoughts.

Weapons and stuff

I played with nun chucks as a kid - in fact, I have telescoping nun chucks. Metal ones. Two pairs, actually. I almost broke my front teeth with them, too! I lent a pair to the son of one of my church elders. I'm not sure that was a wise move. I bought them after a Bruce Lee movie (who didn't?).

It's no surprise to anybody that we liked the movie, "Lord of the Rings." Cathy even knows the names of most of the swords, including swords that Gandalf used in "The Hobbit." I particularly liked Narsil, and Legolas' short swords. I suppose I could purchase a couple of swords from somewhere like King of Swords, which carries fantasy swords.

Something else entirely cool is the idea of blending martial arts with guns. There's a could of action movies, both written by the same guy (no coincidence), which feature this. They both have a post-catastrophe storyline and both feature the notion of guns as martial arts weapons. One is called Equilibrium, and the other is Ultraviolet. Both pretty violent... but if you are into action films, I'd recommend both.

Quick Update

Keeping Up

Another month has gone by and my life is crazy-busy. I've got a Hebrew Exam on Tuesday and I've not done Hebrew in a week. Eek!

Today, I got a tetanus shot. Sophie bit me while I tried to pick her up. Let me explain...

I got up late today, having stayed up until 2AM working on the church technical budget. As usual, I checked in on Sophie. I found her lying in the middle of the room -- nothing unusual there, but then I noticed that she had made a mess, lost control of her bladder. She was not responding well to me, just barely acknowledging my presence. I saw she had diarrhea at some point, and I woke Cathy. I got the carrier, and, trying to lift Sophie gently into it, discovered that she was in a great deal of pain.

Sophie communicated her suffering by nipping at my hand near her face. When I persisted in moving her, she nipped harder, and tore some skin on my thumb. She wasn't trying to hurt me; the wounds are shallow and are scratches more than bites. The vet told Cathy later on that Sophie is hurting a great deal from a mammary infection, the poor thing.

Anyway, I got a tetanus shot today. Oh, and I got new glasses yesterday -- they have magnetic clip-ons for the sun. I like it.

Cathy's doing well, and is beginning to make jewelry again. I should take a picture or two... she's going to start selling them for some income.

Kittens

Sophie is recovering, and the kittens are growing. They've really started exploring -- Linus is a particularly brave one, and he's taken to following Cathy around. Lucy and Marcy are absolutely adorable. Lucy was the first, I think, to drink water, and Linus led the way in using the litter box. Sally and Charlie are the largest kittens, and very playful.

Random Thoughts

I had to write up a technology budget for my church. It is interesting, because I had a need to replace a laptop, so I'm spending my first bit of significant cash. But here's the interesting thing... I also got my quarterly giving report. Looking at the money we've given back to God, and looking for a replacement laptop for a pastor helped me crystallize something I already believed in: stewardship. You see, when I make a purchase or plan a budget, I'm not just spending "God's money" (which is difficult to quantify), but also "your" and "my" money -- money worshipers have given faithfully to God. As such, I must spend it carefully, judiciously, as a good steward.

I already believed in good stewardship, fiscal responsibility, and fiduciary trust. However, getting my tithing report at the same time I needed to purchase a laptop helped me truly incorporate that belief.

Sacred, Secular, Shelby?

I've noted that information seems to be a primary need at our church, as well as a great source of frustration. We bought a product from Shelby Systems which should resolve the issue. The functions of Shelby, however, were portioned out to three individuals, and apparently one person is gone. Unfortunately, nobody had a grasp of the system at this point, at least well enough to leverage it against our present challenges.

My paid responsibilities involve IT, so I must learn Shelby. My intern responsibilities involve the gathering, distributing, and using of information -- which should involve Shelby. Given that my heart lies in making ministry happen, I find this rare opportunity to combine my secular talents with my spiritual passions.

I am truly looking forward to making IT work for ministry. How energizing!

The Love of God for Sinners Like Me

Nicole posted a reflection on sin. Part of what she said is as follows:

...So often, even though I'll recognize my sin, I want to say, "Well, it's because so-and-so is acting like that" or I'll try to justify it by saying that it's because "I had a bad day" or that my actions/attitudes are just one of my "personality traits," "weaknesses," or "struggles." When the bottom line really is that it's, plain and simple, SIN. The sooner I admit that and repent, the sooner the joy and rejoicing will come. :)

I have an additional problem. I, too, justify sin in my heart. However, I tend to admit my sin quickly and pray for God's help. My problem is that I get in my own way when it comes to repentance.

Too often, my tendency is to avoid going to God with my sin. I do admit it, and I go to Him in prayer. But instead of asking God to deal with the sin in my heart, I try to do it myself. I have a tendency to attempt to stand in my own ability. Too often, I don't let God fix my brokenness. Instead, I try to deal with sin in my life, in my own ability, before telling God about it.

As if He didn't already know. He is my Creator, I am the creature. He knows what is broken in me. And there is very little that I can fix myself, and those are cosmetic.

Fundamentally, I avoid God with my broken self, my sin, due to believing a lie. It may be a belief that God doesn't love me as I am. I have long been afraid that I am simply not good enough as I am. And it is true, I am not good enough as I am to earn God's love. I cannot earn God's love.

Fortunately, I don't have to earn His love. God already loves me, broken as I am.

The notion that "God loves me" is the reason we can go to God and tell Him, "Father, this is broken. Would can You fix it?" God probably responds the say parents do when children asks them to do something. God, our my heavenly Father, responds in love.

God responds out of love to our sin.

We can go to God with our sin. He knows, He loves us anyway. And only He can fix what is broken within us. And God is willing.

Oh God, what a wonderful God You are!

Time is a commodity

Last night, I realized something. My life is crazy; I don't have time to get to know people. Is my hectic life glorifying God? No wonder we're told to number our days, to make the most of it. The days certainly seem "evil" to me...

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. (Ephesians 5:15-16)

I average 45 hours at work (plus lunches, plus commuting). I spend approximately 12 hours weekly in classes (plus commuting). I spend approximately 6 hours weekly in service at church. I spend about 3 hours nightly with Cathy, although part of that is meal time, part of which is us in the same room as I study. I spend about 1.5 hours daily getting ready for the day or getting ready for bed.

• 7 x 24 = 168. That's one week.
  
• Minus work (45) and lunch (4) is 119. Minus driving is 114.
• Minus classes (12) is 102. Minus driving is 100.
• Minus church service is 94. Minus church is 92.
• Minus dinner is 85. I get about 6~7 hours nightly, so minus sleep is 40.
• Minus grooming/bed I should have about 29 hours.

I should have 29 hours to study, spend time with Cathy, and live. That's about four hours a day. I don't feel like I have that many hours daily. Maybe I'm missing some stuff (like blogging).

I spent a hour this morning responding to emails, but mainly to friends. I spent 30 minutes thinking and writing this. I have 3 hours left today. *sigh* I was planning on writing home today, and my blogging is the main material for my letters, since I cannot keep track of my days. Now I see why.

I understand I am preparing. But, I think I would rather be "ready and able," instead of "willing and preparing." Well, gotta get back to it...

Cool Hebrew Names

I have been studying Hebrew for only five months, but I do notes some things I think are "cool" on occasion. One of these things is people's names.

For example, I have a friend Micah (מִיכָה); his name means "who is like YHWH?" Another friend is named Derek, and his name means "way, road, path" as in Psalm 1:1.

My professor plays songs in Hebrew before class, and I've got one stuck in my head. *sigh*

Anniversary Rings

I hunted for some diamonds at Blue Nile and I learned a lot. I ended up taking Cathy ring shopping last week and she picked out the ring she wanted, and I got her a nice center stone, too.

Just let me say... I'm glad I got that part-time job. Anniversary rings can be awfully expensive! The center stone is as much as the setting... but Cathy's worth it, and much more. After all, this anniversary ring is a symbol of our love, right?