My mom misses my dad

I spoke with my mom yesterday. Though I still miss my father some times, she misses him terribly every day. It is something that I had not considered before. *sigh*

Translating Taiwan Postal Addresses into English

I found a wonderful tool for ensuring proper delivery of postal mail to Taiwan. The Taiwan post office has wisely provided an address transliteration/translation tool. If you have the address in Chinese, a properly formatted English address is provided for you.

Taiwan addresses are broken down by county, cities, roads, sections, alleys, lanes, number, floor, then rooms. So, an address (I made up) could look like:

8F., No.3, Alley 21, Lane 31, Chung Gang 2nd Rd. Sec. 2, Puli Township, Taoyuan County 333, Taiwan (R.O.C.)

See why this is useful? :-)

Mom: she's staying in Taiwa and we're getting along again

For the record, my mom is staying in Taiwan. She's got a coffee shop that gives her enough income for now. It's only subsistence-level, so she'll chew through her savings (such as it is) at a very fast clip. She only needs $600 a month but she makes about $450. She'll need to have it supplemented, but that's where I come in. I am hoping that my dad's retirement pay will be payable to her; she appears to be elligible for about $600, so that would be just enough. It will take months, though, to wade through the paperwork if these forms are any indication of what's ahead.

One reason to stay is that I cannot afford to support her fully. There's not just room and board, but also medical. Another reason is that she would have no social life here. She's only 57 and she is surrounded by what she knows and loves; now is not the time to move her. I have to prepare for that eventual day, though. Besides, we're only recently reconciled.

If the occasion was more cheery, I would have enjoyed my trip. As it were, my biggest fear was my time with mom. As you may already know, my mother and I have not been on speaking terms for 10 years now. It boils down to my failure to be the son she needed; the details are murky and (at this juncture) not important.

That weekend which we visited grandma was another turning point. I watched a painful exchange between my grandmother and my mom. Grandma berated mom for an event from her youth, humiliating her in front of me, her son. I recognized the pattern in our the dysfunctional exchanges my mom and I have had at times. It pained me, but I understand now why we have the problems we do. The sins of the father really are visited upon the children.

On the bus ride home from grandma's, my mother told me she is proud of me; I was there for her in her time of need. For the first time for a long time, I fulfilled a son's duties in her mind just by doing what I knew to be right. In taking care of my father's business, I was finally able to honor my father and my mother in a way we both understood. I take the command "honor your father and your mother" very seriously. It is good to finally be able to do so in a way my mother recognizes.

It is the beginning of something better. I have much to do in the weeks and months ahead, trying to get my father's benefits applied to mom. Ultimately, however, we will be a family again. And that's a blessing.

Did I mention I'm back?

In talking to my father-in-law, it became clear to me that I did not tell everybody that I am back in the USA. I came back on Wednesday, 02/05/2008.

I want to say for the record that the trip was under God's care. For example, just getting on to the plane was a feat.

I had found out my need for a plane ticket and passport on Friday night. My passport had expired, so I called for an emergency passport. There is an after-hours duty office in Washington, D.C., and she arranged the next available appointment for me, 7 A.M. Monday.

My father died Saturday morning my time. Still, I needed to get there A.S.A.P. for my mother's sake. Cathy helped me pack, I took time off from work and drove to L.A. to arrive before 7 A.M.

That's when I saw my first clear sign that God was watching over me. The L.A. passport office was closed! It wasn't a holiday; they were closed for training. However, the will-call window would process my passport since it had expired (they would not process new and lost passports for a couple of other people).

Then there was another difficulty. I only had a Chinese death certificate. The agent dissappeared with my dad's death certificate and came back less than 10 minutes later; it just happened that one of the employees (who they did not expect to be there) is Chinese and could read the certificate.

Next hurdle; they wanted a ticket to show proof of travel. I explained that I did not want to buy a non-refundable ticket that weekend (and, given that they were not actually open, they said they understood). The agent was so very kind; she gave me her cell phone number so I would not have to navigate the phone system. So, I was able to call China Airlines and got a ticket faxed to me, and I got my passport in time, before the passport agency closed at 11:30.

Getting the governent to renew an expired passort when they are not open for business? That's a acti of God. :-)

Update from Taiwan: All is Well

God has indeed been with me on this trip, and I thank you for your prayers. It is a long post, so I have bolded the essential elements, but feel free to read it all, of course.

My departing plane was scheduled for Monday at 11:10 PM but was delayed for one hour. It took 14 hours 30 minutes, so it was about 3 PM on Tuesday in California when I landed. It was already 7 A.M. Wednesday morning when I arrived in Taiwan. Mom picked me up at the airport and we took the taxi to the cafe my mom manages. I called Cathy, of course. I call her daily when it is 9 P.M. in California.

Wednesday in Taiwan was spent reacquainting ourselves. We decided we had to collect some documentation before we took other actions. It wasn't until about 7 P.M. that I got to my parents' house and started leafing through dad's paperwork. My father seems to throw nothing away, and by 9 P.M. I had simply run out of steam; my mom is sleeping at the nearby cafe, above the store, and I slept there, too. Mom insisted that I get a back massage first, and I must say that it helped my aching muscles recover from the trip. I got to bed at 10:00 P.M.

Thursday morning I woke at 3 A.M., took a brief walk, and got back to sleep until 7:30 A.M. After sharing a quick breakfast with mom, I went back to the house and located all the remainder of the necessary paperwork for our visit to the American Institute in Taiwan (AIT). AIT had called mom over the weekend after I called, and mom was to simply do a walk-in instead of setting an appointment. We walked in that afternoon and filled out the necessary paperwork, thus acquiring the official English death report. That will be sent to whatever agency dispenses my father's pension and will automatically stop the deposits. I got to bed at 10:00 P.M. again.

Friday morning I woke at 4:30 A.M. and was unable to get back to sleep. I checked on the house, let out their dog, and read the paper. A little after noon we went to the crematory and made final arrangements for the disposition of my father's remains. Legally, an available family member needs to identify the body and witness the transportation of the body to the furnace. I got some time to do a brief, solitary memorial while they prepared the furnace. Mom does not handle such things well, so I took her home for lunch and returned for the actual cremation. I witnessed the closing of the casket and accompanied his body to the furnace. I was able to read from John 11 and 2 Corinthians 5 as my father's body was committed to the flames. After I took possession, I dropped the urn off at the house and returned to my mom at the cafe. We had dinner, then mom sent me to a foot massage, and I got to bed about 1:00 A.M.

It was my father's wish to have his remains placed in a U.S. national cemetery. I hope to bring my brothers together at some point for a memorial service. I have an outline in my head already.

Saturday marked the day I got accustomed to the time change. I got up at 7:30 A.M., took care of mom's dog, and got breakfast. We went to visit my maternal grandmother in a town named Pusin. We rode the bus for 4 hours there and visited with grandma. She lives with my second oldest uncle and his wife. We had to leave after only 90 minutes, but it was good to see her again, alive and well at 80. It took another 4 hours to get back.

That brings things current. I need to determine my return date (probably Tuesday evening) and get a few scraps of information from mom. I also want to gather the documents and photos which have suddenly become precious to me; anything my mom does not intend to retain I am boxing up to take with me.

This has been a good trip, thus far. I found the necessary documentation, determined my mom's needs, and was able to take care of the immediate business of my father's death. My mother and I have taken the first steps to being a family again. God has been with me every step of the way. I need, next, to return with minimal incident to my wife's side. Please pray for my safe return. Thank you! (11:54 PM Saturday in Taiwan)

Got my passport and tickets, leaving tonight

Thank God, I've got my passport and my tickets. I leave tonight from LAX and will arrive on Wednesday early morning, I belive (not sure).

This is going to hit us hard financially. It will cost about $1200 just getting there between the ticket ($970) and all the fees and taxes. Once there, I only have until Monday (USA time) of paid days off, and after that I am on unpaid leave. I won't get paid from church (I'm a contractor, not an employee) and I won't be doing any side jobs. So, it's a lot more money out and less money in. Well, God will take care of that, too, and I will do what I can when I get back. That also means I will probably be back by next Wednesday.

I've left a message for Veteran Affairs, but they have not called back yet. A review of their web site seems to indicate that my mother is elligible for annual monetary benefits. There is also some form of medical benefit, too. I would have to make up the shortfall, and I still think it would be easier here instead of there. But, I will have to talk with mom and assess the situation when I get there.

Please pray for safe travel and successful entry into Taiwan. I will need wisdom and discernment in reviewing my mom's situation. When the right course is apparent, I will need cooperation from my mother. Please also pray for God's provision and protection over Cathy while I am away. And, please thank Him for providing the means to go today.

My father died; how will I care for my mother?

My father died this morning, about 11:30 AM California time (3:30 AM in Taiwan).

I was praying that we could make arrangements to take care of my mother, but I'm on my own for that, now. The hospital opens at 7:00 AM and I can get a death certificate, then my emergency passport, then get on a plane to Taiwan.

My father was a great father to me. I will miss him very, very much, and look forward to seeing him again in heaven very, very much.

Here is what I am praying for now. That I can get to Taiwan and help make arrangements to move my mother stateside, and get my father's military benefits applied to my mom. I want honor my mother while she lives. She is relatively young at 57. I don't think I can support her remotely, so I'll need to move her here. But more will become clear when I get there, and after we've made a few calls about how military benefits apply.

My father is dying

My mom called about 6:45, and my father is in the hospital. They live in Taiwan. He's been unconscious since Friday. He is 72.

The doctors say he has a 15% of living through the night.

My passport expired, so I am trying to get an emergency one. Then I'll need to get a ticket and fly out there. Cathy packed my bag already.

I haven't had time to worry, but I figure that I will break down when I run out of things to do. Please pray. That's what I'm doing now.

Taiwan to be struck by Super Typhoon Sepat

Per this Reuters article, Super Typhoon Sepat is going to hit Taiwan today (interactive map).

I don't remember what year (maybe 1990), but there was this one typhoon season when we had three separate storms cut right across Taiwan, just like this one is supposed to do but from west to east. We had high winds, hard rain, flooding... school was naturally canceled, and I remember trying to ride my bicycle and getting pushed all over the road. If I remember right, that was the same year I saw a car floating down the street.

Typhoon Sepat has caused a lot of trouble for the Philippines... I hope Taiwan fares better.

Warning: Long Whining Post

Warning: long whining post.

Yesterday was Chinese New Year's Eve. We went to a 99 Ranch Market (an Asian American supermarket) to pick up a few items yesterday. New Year was getting close, and I think it triggered some cravings for traditional foods. Anyway, we were in line, and I knew that New Year's Day was close, so I asked a woman when Chinese New Year was this year. She says to me, "除夕是今天" (which means "New Year's Eve is today." So I made plans to call my mother for the traditional exchange of greetings.

Normally, Chinese New Year is the biggest event of the year, and all the family gathers together. The celebration of the New Year holiday season lasts 15 days. I suppose it is similar to Thanksgiving and Christmas for Americans in that way. Some Chinese even pick out a plum tree. Anyway...

I haven't received a letter from home in more than five(?) years now. When my dad needs to contact me, he calls (which is why my cell phone number will not change). My mother may have stopped writing to punish me; I am not sure, although she told me exactly that one time. It doesn't make sense to me. Anyway, my mother wants me to write more often. I quit calling because my mom tends to tell me what a disappointment I've been and how I need to be a better son to her. We just don't know each other, as I've explained previously. So, I don't call home often. With no letters back, I don't write often, either, although I have good reasons to change that.

My sister in law calls regularly. She encouraged me to reach out to my parents with regular letters, and I agreed that was a good idea. This last letter, I asked Cathy to write a little note; Cathy didn't think my mother cared to hear from her, but she wrote anyway. Well, my sister in law emailed me and told me how happy my parents were to receive that note, and how they were looking forward to my planned summer visit to Taiwan. With all that in my subconscious, I called home.

It took me a long time to get through on the phone. I use a phone card to save money, and I tried off-and-on for almost 90 minutes to get a connection. Sometimes, the phone would ring once, pick up, and hang up. Sometimes I would wait 30 seconds and hear "all circuits are busy." I'm sure hundreds of thousands of Chinese were also trying to call Asia, so getting through was more difficult than normal. Either way, I finally got through and was able to greet my mother with both the wish for prosperity as well as the simple "Happy New Year."

I was expecting neutral and pleasant small talk. That ended after 10 or 15 seconds, and my mother started telling me again (in Chinese) what a disappointment I've been. "You're less familiar to me than a stranger," she said. "Everyone else can talk about their wonderful sons who moved to America, but I'm afraid to open my mouth," she said. "Are you even my son, or were you born from a rock?" she asked.

I tried to interject, to apologize, but she just got louder. I tried to tell her that I am just trying to... Well, I guess I don't know what I was trying to do. I just wanted to call my mother and wish her a Happy New Year. I'm not sure what I said next, but I yelled it. It was something like I didn't call to be yelled at. I told her I had to try a long time just to get through, and I didn't call to give her a chance to hurt me. Who does that? I told her I just wanted to wish her a Happy New Year, and that I was going to hang up. She told my dad that her son didn't want to talk to her, so my dad and I spoke for a bit. We talked a little, and I hung up.

I called back later (it didn't take as long to get through) and apologized to my mother for yelling at her. She told me some more things I was doing wrong as her son (nothing I can understand, unfortunately), and I just absorbed it.

My father and I spoke for a bit, too. He advised me not to plan on visiting anytime soon (he said it would be a waste of time, whatever that means). We also talked about providing for my mother, since he may not live for too many more years. *sigh*

Anyway, I feel kinda like my mother manipulated my sister in law. She seems to want me to figure out how to be a good son but won't tell me how. She wants me to be the son she wanted to rear (but didn't). I cannot become a better Chinese son, because I'm only "so" Chinese. I'm much more American than she realizes. Cathy is trying to help me decipher the clues my mother gives me... there must be a way to understand the "I'm a bad son" messages so I can determine how to be a good son to her.

I could use some prayer on that front...

恭喜發財 - Happy Chinese New Year

Today is Chinese New Year. The traditional Chinese greeting is Gōngxǐ fācái (恭喜發財), which sounds like Gung-Shee-Fah-Tsai. It means "congratulations, may you become rich."

Cathy and I were married on a Lunar New Year, so we tend to celebrate whichever anniversary is more convenient, although I believe we are biased toward the Gregorian calendar. I think we'll go out for Chinese food today...

Identity Crisis

Growing up in Taiwan as the son of a Chinese woman and a white American man, I did not fit into either culture. I suppose I weathered a deep, lifelong identity crisis. I found myself torn between two cultures, a guest in both but at home in neither one. At school, an English-speaking school for missionary kids, I found myself in a Western culture. At home, I lived in an American culture as communicated by my father, but one that was placed in a Taiwan context.

My father always accepted me. Having retired from the U.S. Air Force, my father spent a lot of time at home and was always there for me. He told me many stories and taught me many lessons; he remains the man I hope to one day become. I suppose he was the only one to understand, perhaps subconsciously, that his son was a Chinese-American amalgamation. Sure, I was more American than not, but I wouldn’t fit in in the United States, either. I did not discover that until I arrived at LAX in 1992; the first thing I saw was a billboard for an “adult bookstore” – talk about culture shock!

My mother has always had great hopes for me, hopes that she encouraged me to follow. She took my father to Taiwan in 1976, where they have remained for the last 30 years. Mom worked hard outside the home; I suppose she has a type-A personality. She used to come home and cook a meal, give me an allowance when she could, and then she’d be off again. She started many businesses, usually in the service industry, such as cafés or restaurants, but she never knew when to sell and get out. In the 15 years I grew up in Taiwan, my family was in or close to bankruptcy four times. We were, therefore, alternately well off or poor. I was always loved, and I never felt insecure, even that period of time when my family lived off egg sandwiches and donated clothing.

Both of my parents expected great things of me. They both wanted me to have more opportunities, better education, and a better life. I fully intend (even now) to provide for my parents in their old age in response to their love. I was expected to achieve, to excel, to succeed at all I set my heart upon; very often, that was indeed the case. After all, my family’s honor was at stake, and I couldn’t let my family down.

But, I am my father’s son. My mother expected me to be much more Chinese than I am. Sure, when I arrived in California I thought I was as un-American as you could get; I was wrong. My identity crisis merely came to the surface as I finally came to realize my fears were well grounded; I didn’t belong in Taiwan’s culture, and I didn’t belong here, either.

I spent 15 years of my life expecting to go the States and fit in, to finally be “home.” I expected to get an education and a job, find a wife and settle down. I didn’t think too much about kids, but I assumed I would have some (we won’t be having any). I always thought my parents would move here by the time I was 30 to 35 and live with my family.

What a shock to discover that I was not a natural fit in America! I feel comfortable now, but the first couple of years were a real struggle. Cathy, my loving wife, has been a great help in my journey.

It is due to all this that I feel deeply saddened by the distance that has come between my mother and me. It is not merely geography, but also emotions and culture. You see, I am not the son my mother thought I would be, that she hoped I would be. She also expected grandchildren that I won’t be able to provide. I had finally and completely failed my mother and let my family down.

My mother is convinced that I do not love her, and I cannot convince her otherwise. I am not her son (as far as she can tell), because I do not respond to her the way her son should respond to her. Instead, I have discovered that I am more my father’s son, for better or for worse.

I think the problem is actually cultural. This came as a realization after seeing a clip from The Joy Luck Club. I heard my mother’s words in the thoughts of Lindo Jong, and I heard my own thoughts uttered on screen. Seeing the onscreen mother and daughter struggling to understand each other reminded me of my mother and me.

At one point in the movie, the mother (Lindo Jong) thinks to herself:

I could see her face looking at me... but not seeing me. She was ashamed... so ashamed to be my daughter.

Shortly thereafter, her daughter (Waverly Jong) says:

You don’t know, you don’t know the power you have over me. One word from you, one look, and I’m four years old again, crying myself to sleep, because nothing I do can ever, ever please you.

There is another scene from the movie that sounds familiar to me. One of the daughters says to her mother:

Well, it hurts, because every time you hoped for something I couldn’t deliver, it hurt. It hurt me, Mommy. And no matter what you hope for, I’ll never be more than what I am. And you never see that, what I really am.

My mother and I have had similar “conversations.” It is, in fact, a cultural gap, a generational gap common to immigrant families.

Unfortunately, my family does not fit the typical immigration family model. My mother is not a first-generation immigrant; she married an American and went back to live in Taiwan. I am not a second-generation immigrant; I was born here, raised among Americans overseas, then moved back to the U.S.A.

Yet, as a child, I did compartmentalize my different lives, between American school and Taiwan friends and home. I neither pursued Chinese culture nor rejected it; I took it for granted and only absorbed it in part. I readily accepted my American heritage, but did not know that I was not thoroughly American. As an adult living here alone, I had to integrate my different cultural compartments. Finally, I am comfortable being who I am.

However, now I see I do not know my own mother. My mother is hurt that I do not respond to her the way a Chinese son would. I absorbed some of her values, for example, I accept the mandate to provide for my parents in their golden years. It is likely that I would make a good American son, but I do not know how to express the respect and love I feel for her in her cultural forms, the way a Chinese son would love her.

My mother thinks I am ashamed of her, that I do not love her. That could not be further from the truth.

I do not understand my mother. When she hurts me with her words and actions, perhaps unintentionally but sometimes deliberately, I believe she is attempting to communicate the deep pain she feels. My mother may be hoping that I, seeing her pain, would respond appropriately, the way a Chinese son would.

In the end, I do not know how to be a Chinese son. My best hope to connect with my mother lies in communicating these very things to my father, and pray that he can communicate them to my mother. In the mean time, I struggle with how to honor my parents during this time. Perhaps, with some understanding, we can learn new ways of relating as mother and son.

Other drama with my parents

The recent drama with my parents weighs on my mind, too. My mother is genuinely disappointed in me as a son. I had called yesterday, and she made me aware of just how much it hurt her that I am not the son she tried to rear. A large part of it is that my mother expect grandchildren that I cannot give her. The last time we spoke was Valentine's Day of 2004. I wrote a few times and my parents didn't write back. I wrote to my mom and she didn't respond. I quit writing and I quit checking the mailbox. Eventually, I grew numb to that missing connection.

Looking back, I can't remember the last time I received a letter, or a card. I think my mother is trying to punish me by withholding letters from me, I don't know. I think the last letter I got was from my dad, and that was when we lived on Margarita Dr, so maybe 2002? My mom stopped writing before that...

Four Ribs Instead of Three, But Healing OK

OK, finally hooked up with my parents. He had his appointment on the 28th and got new x-rays. His regular doctor says it is four ribs instead of three, and the ribs are not side-by-side. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but the doctor says dad is really sticking to the program and is already beginning to heal. Dad's heartrate and blood pressure is remaining under control, so things are going as well as can be expected.

I forgot to ask how things were going with the man that hit my father.

I would ask that you pray my father recovers fully and lives for many more years; my uncles are all dead or dying from poor health. Please also ask for some level of justice; not retribution, but some kind of balancing the scales so that the man who hit my father will not just walk away without consequences.

Thank you for your prayers!

In other news, I found out my mother's reluctance to move here is actually a personal issue she has with me. In short, I have not become the son she was trying to rear, and that has but some distance between us. I'm not going to bore those of you who are reading to check only on my dad, I'll post something separate on that.

My Dad Is Recovering, and Other Details

Thanks for your prayers. I bought a phone card and called Taiwan. I did get to speak to my father. He is on the mend.

In a nutshell: he should recover use of his arm in six months. His next appointment is on August 28th, so I'll be calling for an update. I asked my parents to move to my triplex; he wouldn't mind moving here, but he is concerend for my mother. He promised to talk it over with mom.

The unabridge edition: My dad was going home on his motorcycle on July 22nd, obeying all the rules of the road. A car came up behind him and honked at him. The weird part is that the car could have easily passed him at any time, but instead it followed my dad for a block, honking at him.

It turns out that the guy in the car felt like my dad was driving inappropriately (bikes share the lanes with cars, but sometimes they have separate motorcyle lanes). So the guy in the car decides he is going to try to scare my dad to "teach him a lesson." Instead, he hit my dad, then tried to get away. The driver got stopped at the intersection by the red light.

My dad got a partial license plate and yelled at the man, accusing the driver of hitting him on purpose. Then the driver backed up, admitted that he was trying to scare my dad and hit him by accident instead (!), not "on purpose" per se. So the man took my dad to the hospital to get checked out.

The plot thickens... it turns out that the driver that hit my dad used to be an E.R. doctor at the hospital who started his own practice. This driver/doc drove my dad to to E.R., and my father got checked out, had his x-rays, etc. The E.R. assured my father that he was O.K. and that nothing was broken (remember that). He got a followup visit scheduled. Oddly, it comes out that it was the birthday of the driver/doc that hit my dad.

At the police station, my mom & dad spoke with a police officer. The driver/doc tried to justify the accident by accusing my dad of improperly operating a motorcycle, but an investigation revealed that my father was following all the rules of the road; it is on official record that the police found my father to be free of any wrongdoing and (amazingly) the driver/doc is on record saying he was trying to teach my dad a lesson. The police told the doc that he was in the wrong and that my parents can retain the option to sue if the doc doesn't justly compensate my dad.

In the mean time, my dad goes home to rest but is really sore. He gets checked out a couple of days after the accient. Dad's regular doctor tells my dad he thinks there's a cracked shoulder and some ribs. My father assured him that the hospital aleady checked this out, but the doc says he thinks there are cracked ribs and a broken left shoulder. They recheck my dad, and it turns out my dad's left should was separated (5cm) and has three cracked ribs. It will be 6 months before he can use his shoulder, and in the mean time he needs to get a lot of rest.

What I find suspicious is how an E.R. examination, with x-rays, did not reveal this the night my father was hit by that doctor. Since the same x-ray indicated problems to my dad's regular doctor, how did the E.R. doctor miss it? It seemed strange to me that the man who hit my father intentionally would also drive him to the E.R., so I think he asked someone to lie to my father "for old times sake."

Things took an unexpected turn for the worse... A couple of days go by, and my father is really sore and starts having trouble breathing. He coughs up dark stuff and decides to go back to the E.R. He was having such difficulty breathing that the E.R. decided to put a tube down his throat. They also pumped out 4 pints of dark, coffee-colored (mystery) fluids, then he was able to breath. The hospital kept him for observation for 4 days, during which time he missed his followup appointment. He was discharged on Aug 8th. My dad had to rebook his appointment, and the next available appointment Aug 28th.

Back at the house, the driver/doctor comes by daily to visit my dad to butter him up. The doc offers something like $6000 USD as compensation, which my mother rejects; the insurance company was not even involved yet, and the doctor is trying to cover up his intentionally hitting my dad. My mom is seriously pissed off (and that isn't good for the doc). The doctor then offered a little more, etc, but my mom is looking to have the doctor's driver license revolked and thrown in jail. The minimum sentence is 2 months for a misdemenor hit-and-run (or something like that). Plus she can sue.

What's next? I had asked my father to move here, into the triplex we own. I couldn't afford to pay the rent for him, but his Airforce pension could easily cover my costs and still give him almost $1000 a month to live on. Longbeach has a great VA system to cover his medical needs. My dad wouldn't mind moving back here, but he is thinking of my mother. Mom wouldn't have coverage, friends, employment... he'll think about it, but not until the 6 months is up and after the potential law suit is settled. I'm thinking that mom would have my dad, her son, and should be able to get coverage through my father... I'll have to look into that.

My father's next appointment is Aug 28th. So if I call the evening of the 28th here, dad will already have had his appointment.

My Father Was Hit By A Car in Taiwan

My father was hit by a car last month. He rides a motorcycle and, from what I understand, the car hit him and broke his shoulder. There is concern for internal injuries he may have sustained. While he was recovering in the hospital, he also threw up dark blood. He is back home now, resting.

I just heard about this from my sister-in-law, who had called Taiwan to say "hi." I almost never call, and write infrequently (I wish my parents had a computer).

Cathy and I spoke about it, and I am going to call tomorrow and ask my parents to move into the apartment next door. My dad is 71; a 71-year-old man should be able to take walks, chat with the neighbors, watch all the sports and news channels he wants and visit with his children. If they won't move to California, I'm going to arrange to visit Taiwan, but I would rather send tickets for mom and dad.

So, please, pray for my father, whom I love a great deal.

Taiwan, Full Moons, and Laterns

Yup, I miss Taiwan. Last night the moon as nearly full... which means the Latern Festival is over now back on Taiwan. It is a time of celebration and family gathering, and bowls of sweet rice dumpling soup.

My earliest memory of a Latern Festival involves my mother explaining that it always occurred on a full moon. I remember looing at the full moon suspended in the sky, marveling at the size of it, the brightness of it. Everybody would turn off their houselights, so interference from light polution was minimal. The full moon of the Latern Festival, dressed by the array of stars unveiled in the night sky, was always best during New Year.

I remember building paper laterns as a child. We worked with thin bamboo sticks and wax paper... there were simple ones, such as the boxes, and the slightly more advanced (and rather popular) spheres. You could purchase elaborate dragon-shaped laterns, which my mother bought for me one year.

Chinese parents trusted their children with firecrackers and candles, at least during the New Year. It was fund chasing each other around under a full moon, showing off our laterns, playing hid-and-seek, and exploring hills and streams that seemed much more exotic by moon lantern light.

As I grew up, paper laterns and candles gave way to molded plastic and flashlights. Sure, the traditional shapes were still available, but by my early teen years, an entire generation of children were growing up without ever building their own latern.

Granted, we spared all future generations the pain of watching your lovingly constructed latern go up in flames; that happens when you don't trim the wick, or tilt it wrong... :D Still, on the balance of things, I think Chinese children these days are missing out, if they even still celebrate the Latern Festival with actual kids carrying actual lanterns around at night.

I think I'll go home and listen to Dizi solos and dream of a starry night sky.

Audio - happy new year

Happy Chinese New Year!

Sunday is Chinese New Year. It happens to be the Year of the Dog, so I guess Oliver's "birthday" is Monday.

Cathy & I married on Chinese New Year, so we sort of have two anniversaries. I'm not sure what we'll do tomorrow, but probably not much. If we were in Taiwan, I would be getting together with all my family and having a very large lunch.

Maybe we'll hit a Chinese restaurant after church. It is too bad I don't have any Chinese-speaking friends around to say traditional blessings to, like "congratulations and may you get rich", "may you always have leftovers" as well as "Happy New Year." :-)

Update: Yup, we had Chinese for lunch... it was great, and Cathy impressed the server with her recitation of "Happy New Year."

Mapping Taiwan

I grew up in Taiwan, and I wanted to show Cathy but had a hard time locating my old stomping grounds on Google Earth. I finally found a Taiwan map site and can show Cathy my old neighborhoods.

It is no surprise that the satellite photos available for Taiwan via Google Earth are not as detailed as North America, given the political tension across the Taiwan Strait. But there's always a way, though, and here's how you can map addresses on Taiwan.

Mapping Taiwan is not nearly as convenient as the way Google Maps works. None of the major portals I've used (Yahoo!, Google, MSN) have mapping programs for Taiwan, although Mapquest has coarse international maps including Taiwan. I say coarse because you have city-level detail, but not street-level detail. But, there are two related web sites that allow you to map Taiwan addresses.

The main site is in Traditional Chinese and allows you to find the address by county, city, township, village and street address. This is the most precise search, although the limitations are obvious for English-speakers, and a free (though tedius) registration is required for street-level detail.

The secondary site is in (broken) English and simply allows you to search by number, street address and city/county. Surprisingly, no registration is required for the English site and street-level detail is available. The biggest problem is figuring out how to properly spell a location name; is it Kwaisan or Gueishan? I found the Taiwan Postal Service's Enlgish web site very helpful in this regard, as you can just search for post office locations by postal code to arrive at the proper village, township and city/county.

In order to locate my high school, Morrison Academy, I looked up the English address and got this result (#136-1, Shui-Nan Rd., Taichung, 406, Taiwan). By zooming out on the map, I was able to locate the general region in Google Earth, and locate the school here.

For more rural regions, spelling becomes a real issue. I looked up my parent's postal code in order to correctly spell their address (my letters have always gotten there, but I think my next letter will arrive sooner). In the end, my Google Earth pictures are as follows:

Taiwan, with the relative position of my high school and where my parents live, as well as the region around my high school and the city that formed me as a young man.

My parents live close to the major internation airport of Taiwan. I used to practice Nun Chucks in the field southwest of my parent's house, and my dad & I spent a lot of time walking the park behind our house.

Obviously, I've got more to show Cathy, but this post will give my old alma mater's new students something to ponder.