So, last week I was thinking about trusting God. I've got a lot going on, between work, school, marriage, and remodeling, not to mention my church internship. I had felt, in the past weeks, an increasing persistent sense of dread.
That is to say, I had begun to worry.
I have thought about Jesus' words in Matthew chapter 6. You know, the "do not worry" part? And I have also been reading Larry Crabb's "Connecting" for class. I'm not sure exactly what I was reading, but at one point something connected inside me, and I began to think I was asking God for the wrong things.
The next morning, as I was struggling to pray, it finally became clear to me that I did not need to pray for more time, or more energy, or more skill, not even more wisdom. The problem for me was that I was working hard to accomplish all that is on my plate. And the more I faced, the harder I struggled to get it all done. And I had begun to worry. What I needed to pray for (it came to me suddenly) was to ask God to help me to trust Him.
I'm not saying this is what Jesus meant when He said to "seek first His kingdom and His righteouness" but I think it is the same idea. All the tasks which lay before me are still there, even now, and they must be done. But a year from now, Thanksgiving will still be around the corner and this year will have become history.
God will see me through it. And it isn't about being empowered to do it all (though I think He will do so), it is about trusting Him in the middle of all of this.
So, I prayed that morning for God to help me to trust Him. And I think God spoke to me that morning, and I heard Him. And now the problems are there, but it is somehow O.K.
So, if you've been feeling like me, perhaps you should consider praying for trust in God. :-)