...So often, even though I'll recognize my sin, I want to say, "Well, it's because so-and-so is acting like that" or I'll try to justify it by saying that it's because "I had a bad day" or that my actions/attitudes are just one of my "personality traits," "weaknesses," or "struggles." When the bottom line really is that it's, plain and simple, SIN. The sooner I admit that and repent, the sooner the joy and rejoicing will come. :)I have an additional problem. I, too, justify sin in my heart. However, I tend to admit my sin quickly and pray for God's help. My problem is that I get in my own way when it comes to repentance.
Too often, my tendency is to avoid going to God with my sin. I do admit it, and I go to Him in prayer. But instead of asking God to deal with the sin in my heart, I try to do it myself. I have a tendency to attempt to stand in my own ability. Too often, I don't let God fix my brokenness. Instead, I try to deal with sin in my life, in my own ability, before telling God about it.
As if He didn't already know. He is my Creator, I am the creature. He knows what is broken in me. And there is very little that I can fix myself, and those are cosmetic.
Fundamentally, I avoid God with my broken self, my sin, due to believing a lie. It may be a belief that God doesn't love me as I am. I have long been afraid that I am simply not good enough as I am. And it is true, I am not good enough as I am to earn God's love. I cannot earn God's love.
Fortunately, I don't have to earn His love. God already loves me, broken as I am.
The notion that "God loves me" is the reason we can go to God and tell Him, "Father, this is broken. Would
God responds out of love to our sin.
We can go to God with our sin. He knows, He loves us anyway. And only He can fix what is broken within us. And God is willing.
Oh God, what a wonderful God You are!
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